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Upstart Brewery Startup Now Online

In what has been an unintentional running-gag for the last several years, the Mad Yank Brewery has been loath to get online, as evidenced by their constantly dragging their feet to get their website up and running.

“Well I wouldn’t say we were ‘loath to’, it just didn’t make sense to pour time and effort into it yet,” whined Chief Brewer and Co-Founder Grant “Boo-hoo I’m SO Busy” Graeber.

The Mad Yank’s Director and Co-Founder, Larissa Graeber (no relation, unless you consider “marriage” a relation), could not be reached for comment, owing entirely to her abiding by the 2-meter rule.

“You are not reading this in my voice. You don’t even know who I am.”

“I’ve been telling him we should have more of a presence online all along,” Larissa happily reported via phone, however. “He kept coming back with excuses like ‘return on investment’ and ‘I need sleep’.”

With a steady output on their modest 1.5BBL kit and a couple of power naps, Grant’s list of excuses ran dry. “I gave him an ultimatum,” added Larissa, “I said he can either get the site built, or stay bolted inside of his office.”

“There’s a window for deliveries,” she pointed out, “and the kids slipped notes under the door with little motivational phrases like ‘I miss you’ and ‘Get back to work’.”

“Get back to work.”

– Your Son

This was apparently the right fire to light under Grant’s arse, because you’re now reading a post on said website. When asked to comment, Grant was quick to defend his position. “I’m stretching out my lower back, stop staring.”

With a conspicuous lack of attention to their social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter and, to a lesser extent, Instagram, the self-proclaimed “regular people” duo of Larissa and Grant have brought their website out of mothballs and upgraded it to a fully functional webshop and information hub for the brewery.


I read about the origin of the Mad Yank Brewery and all I got was this lousy tweet!