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A Look at Our Latest

We’ve been on a bit of a sour and/or fruit kick lately, and this lineup reflects that.

First we launched the over-the-top Hyper-Grapefruit Hefeweizen of “Zesty My Bestie” at Trekker’s in Chesham, which started as a traditionally-brewed hefeweizen but evolved into a 6.7% ABV pink grapefruit monster. That was followed just a few short hours later with the launch of the Eurovision parody-inspired “JÁJÁ ĐINGĐONG”, a 4.1% ABV Raspberry Black Currant Sour brewed especially for and with our friends at A Hoppy Place in Windsor.

What time is it? Beer time (yes, that’s a beer mug. I don’t care if it looks like coffee. It’s beer – prove me wrong).

Our third in this not-quite-intentional triumvirate is the White Chocolate Cherry Gose “Disco Duck”. Coming in at 5.0% ABV, it has already put smiles on the faces of the handful of tasters we sent early access samples to. We think this one is going to remain in memory long after the glass is empty.

Each of these are seasonal brews, so we’ll see their return, but it’ll be another year before we make room in the fermenters for them.


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Dear Twitter: A Love Letter

Remember these?

Hi there Twitter®. No, not you, Twitter Users. No, not you either, Twitter Execs. I’m writing directly to the app.

I know I’ve been neglectful. I probably could have tried harder. Things got…complicated. We were both so young when we first met – has it really been a decade? We’ve both come a long way and I feel like we should reconnect.

I remember the moment we were introduced – 16 May, 2009. It was the night the NIN/JA concert came to Chula Vista. The weather was hot and dry, but the air was humid from the sweat of a few thousand concert goers.

Amidst a conversation about the some tamales and fish tacos at the venue with my new friend-for-life-perhaps-even-a-soulmate-even-if-we’d-only-just-met at the concert (I haven’t spoken to them since) showed me their BlackBerry®. They were looking up info for the next performer, seeing if any of them had a website of their own.

And then it happened. I saw Dave Navarro.

I was powerless to turn away from Dave[‘s Twitter feed].

Or, more accurately, I read one of his tweets.

You were pretty limited back then. No pictures, 140 character limitation, not even a decent retweet function. But curiosity had me. I can’t tell you what his stream said, it seems his account got suspended since then. I started to… I…

Um… Can we just go back to Dave again?

I don’t usually go for guys with tattoos and nipple rings, but I think I’d make an exception here. Just look at him. His skin care routine must take hours, he doesn’t have a single blemish!

What were we talking about? Twitter? Oh right, so yeah, I meant to spend more time with you, but after that night it was only a few short days before I moved to Japan, and you just weren’t a thing there. When I finally got back to the West, everything was different. You were different. You seem angrier now, and I want to reconnect, but not if I’m just going to be a lightning rod for your angst. I’ll trust you, though. I’ll give this a second chance.

Besides, you did turn me on to Dave. Unf, Dave…


I love you, too.

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Upstart Brewery Startup Now Online

In what has been an unintentional running-gag for the last several years, the Mad Yank Brewery has been loath to get online, as evidenced by their constantly dragging their feet to get their website up and running.

“Well I wouldn’t say we were ‘loath to’, it just didn’t make sense to pour time and effort into it yet,” whined Chief Brewer and Co-Founder Grant “Boo-hoo I’m SO Busy” Graeber.

The Mad Yank’s Director and Co-Founder, Larissa Graeber (no relation, unless you consider “marriage” a relation), could not be reached for comment, owing entirely to her abiding by the 2-meter rule.

“You are not reading this in my voice. You don’t even know who I am.”

“I’ve been telling him we should have more of a presence online all along,” Larissa happily reported via phone, however. “He kept coming back with excuses like ‘return on investment’ and ‘I need sleep’.”

With a steady output on their modest 1.5BBL kit and a couple of power naps, Grant’s list of excuses ran dry. “I gave him an ultimatum,” added Larissa, “I said he can either get the site built, or stay bolted inside of his office.”

“There’s a window for deliveries,” she pointed out, “and the kids slipped notes under the door with little motivational phrases like ‘I miss you’ and ‘Get back to work’.”

“Get back to work.”

– Your Son

This was apparently the right fire to light under Grant’s arse, because you’re now reading a post on said website. When asked to comment, Grant was quick to defend his position. “I’m stretching out my lower back, stop staring.”

With a conspicuous lack of attention to their social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter and, to a lesser extent, Instagram, the self-proclaimed “regular people” duo of Larissa and Grant have brought their website out of mothballs and upgraded it to a fully functional webshop and information hub for the brewery.


I read about the origin of the Mad Yank Brewery and all I got was this lousy tweet!

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the Beer Baroness: What We Know

Artist sketch of Larissa based on no witness accounts.

Strictly speaking, she can’t actually be called a “baroness”, which is defined as:

baroness |ˈberənəs| noun
• the wife or widow of a baron. The term “Baroness” is not used as a form of address in Britain, baronesses usually being referred to as “Lady.”

So far as we know, she’s not the widow of anyone, let alone a baron. As for “lady”? Ha! That’s rich. Title or no, that word has never applied to her, according to our research. Here’s what we do know:

  • She was captain of the rugby team in college. Twice.
  • She’s broken multiple fingers more than once – how is a bit of a mystery, but it wasn’t while picking out hats for Ascot.
  • She’s been to Ascot.
  • An unconfirmed report describes how she fashioned a pair of reins out of a bedsheet during childbirth and proceeded to slap* them while yelling, “heeyah!”
    (*If true, it demonstrates she is not a rider, as this is only done in the movies.)

None of that, however, seems to indicate how she came to be the Director of a small nanobrewery.

It’s a matter of public record that she owns a 50% stake in The Mad Yank Brewery, the other half belonging to her presumed husband. As neither owns a majority stake, they allegedly resolve all issues through a combination of physical combat implements and an old method of arbitration: Boxing Gloves at 50 Paces.

Evidence exists that she once worked for a global fitness corporation, residing over the marketing department for the European branch of the company. Witnesses claim she departed the company after buying “a one-way ticket to Hawai’i” shortly after earning a pay raise.


Ladies take a seat. The women are talking.

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The Legend of The Mad Yank

“But there’s a problem with that… *all* Yanks are mad.”

-Michael, who drinks only Cider

Michael may be right. This one is different, however.

I have seen photos of him inexplicably taken across centuries. I’ve seen the paintings with the telltale monogram emblazoned on the subject. I’ve read the articles describing his eccentric claims and practices.

Why does he cover his Hot Liquor Tank in blankets? Is it, as the rumors suggest, to make the tank feel safer at night, or is that merely a story concocted by his followers? Is there any validity to the reports of him singing to the grains in the field to sooth them before harvest?

Is he a time-traveller, as some have suggested, or does he step between different versions of the universe, as others claim, with himself the only constant?

Another sighting, or just a dirty lens?

Could it all be the work of a dedicated few, spanning multiple generations, and if so then what is the goal? While this seems the most rational explanation, there are certain facts that cannot be reconciled this way.

What about the stories of his time serving as a ninja aboard a nuclear submarine, or the reports that he possesses some form of cloaking technology so advanced that he can disappear at will? Is the beer he is consistently seen making his own personal fountain of youth? Will he ever pay me for writing this drivel for him?

It is here I will endeavor to report on my findings; here that we may discover, or debunk, the truth behind the Legend of the Mad Yank.


I’ve begun my search for the Mad Yank.